Scumbag of the Week: Ridley Park Creek
Something is rotten in Ridley Park — or fishy would be the more appropriate word.
Last Saturday night, while graduates partied and children played, a resident of Glenlock Road noticed something amiss as he walked along Ridley Park Lake with his youngster. Hundreds of fish were floating on the surface of the borough’s premiere water attraction, also known as East Lake. He immediately called Ridley Park Borough Council President Bob Berger who had never seen anything like it in his 30 years as a Ridley Park resident.
This weeks scumbag has no heart, no soul, no pulse, and certainly no remorse. Maybe that's because it's a lifeless body of water, but maybe it's something more sinister; more Alfred Hitchcock esque. Is RIdley Park Creek killing our fish in an attempt to starve the residents of Ridley? If so it is an extremely stupid creek, because nobody eats the retarded fish that are bread in that cesspool. But no matter the motive, it's some down right scary stuff. Down south they have experienced this type of End of Days shit with dead fish in the Mississippi and birds dropping dead from the sky. I don't know about you mother effer's, but I'm getting my bomb shelter stocked with all the essentials: Booze, Cigs, Beef Jerkey, and Pepper Relish.
-Dr. Funkenstein