Scumbag of the Week: Hanyif Jamar Curry
A convicted felon, Curry is armed and considered dangerous, according to Police Chief John Easton. Anyone who sees him is urged to call 911 immediately.
Wanted: The scumbag who held a gun to a 7 year old
Last Seen: Holding a gun to a 7 year old in Upland, PA
This week’s scumbag, Hanyif Jamar Curry, is a 28 year old Upland resident who held his girlfriend and her 7 year old child at gun point. Jamar (I am going by his middle name because I have no fucking idea how to pronounce his first) was hiding in the bushes when his girlfriend came home at 5am (not sure what her profession is, but I have a few guesses). Once the girlfriend got to the front door, Jamar popped out and yelled, “Boo” doing a spot on impression of a black version of Casper. He then proceeded to follow his girlfriend into the house while holding a gun to her head. Once inside, Jamar put the gun on the 7 year old, allowing the girlfriend to escape and call the police. A neighbor of the victims said, “This is unbelievable. It’s just like the movies.” I am going to guess “U.S. Marshalls,” a man trying to prove his innocence by evading the law while banging his girlfriend at random points to add a little sexual romance to situation.
We are not sure of Jamar’s motives, but here are our top 3 guesses:
· Wanted to play “the rape game” with his girlfriend
· Wanted to play “cops and robbers” (if this is the case, he won since he got away)
· Wanted to be a father figure to the 7 year old boy and teach him how to handled being held up at gun point, which is a common problem in the Upland area.
If you see Jamar on the streets, be sure to congratulate him on his scumbag award, and then call the cops because I don’t need this man hiding in my bushes when I stumble home from Milmont Republican Club at 4am.
To read the full article go here.
-Mr. Delco