For Arguments Sake...
A Thought on Grade Schools.
According to those who attended Holy Cross in Springfield, "Cross is Boss." The Crusaders do have a couple aspects of their school that is boss. They have the most incredibly obnoxious church in all of Delaware County with their 8 ft. statues standing atop the front and 187 steps to the loft. They had top-of-the-line basketball hoops in their gym, and you could always count on a hotmouth at one of their social events. Down Springfield Rd., up Powell and a right on Saxer will bring you to St. Francis. The Bruins. Always a formidable opponent when it came to athletics. Alumni of St. Francis grow to love Dukes Tavern and have an overwhelming sense of Springfield pride. Sure, they had 5 different schools playing on their football team, and their rims were 10 ft. 3 inches, but they got W's, and that's all that really matters at the end of the day. I think it's safe to say that the coolest thing about St. Kevins is that they gave us something to do every other weekend at their dances. Before they had a gym, the dances were held under their "church." The things that occurred under that house of God are too graphic for this humble blog. A Cheesesteak I know graduated from St. Kevins. He made the move from Nativity BVM. I don't know the current status of this school, but let's be honest, who gives a shit? Also in Media, is St. Mary Magdalen. Mary was one of JC's most celebrated disciples, but she was also a whore. A prostitute turned repentant. During my time in grade school, they were always awesome at baseball, soccer, and basketball. Pricks. If it weren't for the Grandieri family, they wouldn't have held a candle to the super powers that were St. Francis and St. Dorothy.
St. Dorothy. Graduates of the premier parish in Drexel Hill have the most pride of any other grade school. They say if you didn't go there, then you wouldn't understand. You grow up on Yummies after serving 6:30 mass. You sign the walls of the bell tower while you chat over a bag of communion. Your job was to collect the pretzel money because at the end of the week you had an extra 5-spot and some free Bernies Soft Pretzels. Sports teams were top notch. One of the longest running rivalries is between St. Dot's and St. Bernies. The Turkey Bowl is held every year on Thanksgiving. No surprise that the Chargers are 37-15 against Bernies. Bernies produced some of Delco's best. 76ers GM, Ed Stefanski, is a graduate of St. Bernies. Tom Tarpey also spent time at the school, before leaving for greener pastures when he and the administration did not see eye-to-eye. St. Andrews would be considered mediocre, at best. The stained glass windows in the church were made by the 1975 kindergarten class. Want to get married here? Sure, but they won't let you take pictures on the altar afterwards. They also had four or five priests indicted for playing grab ass with children. Other than that, all people I know that graduated from there are cool people. Fun to party with.
Moving along to Havertown, we have a couple schools I feel deserve some recognition. Sacred Heart is located on The Pike and Manoa Rd. Some cool chaps attended this school. Most grow to be devout patrons of the World Famous Manoa Tavern. They had dances on Saturday nights, which was a breath of fresh air from the typical Friday night scene. While on the topic of dances, St. Denis dances were always the bomb. Fights and grind lines were standard. The St. Denis Fair was the same, but replace grind lines with carnival rides. Overall A+ for adolescent entertainment from St. Denis.
Let's hop across Delco to meet Our Ladies. Our Lady of Perpetual Help in Morton. Great sense of pride comes from this school. Tight knit group of people. By tight knit, I mean you could find each and every one of them at Wawa on any given weekend or summer night. They produced some extremely attractive females. We kicked their ass in high school CYO volleyball, but that's a story for a different day. Our Lady of Peace. They have a closet for a gym and a designated smoking area at recess. 'Nuff said. Our Lady of Fatima, like OLPH, is a tight knit group of Delco citizens. Driving through BCliffe on any given day you will see many people out on their front lawns. Perhaps doing some yard work, watching their children, or shooting the shit over a cold Coors Light with some neighbors. It's your prototypical, blue collar, Delco neighborhood. Down the street, Imperial Pizza has raised the price of a pie about 55 cents over the past 30 years. Who cares if there's sand on the bottom, it gives the pie character.
The prime of any Delco athlete comes from the ages of 10 to 14, naturally. Success in grade school sports molds future conversations at bars and parties across Delaware County. When exchanging pleasantries with new friend at your local watering hole, it is standard protocol to ask the other where they went to school. More often than not, the person will answer with their grade school rather than high school. It makes for epic and endless arguments.
-Gus