"The Macho Man" Randy Savage,
Rest In Peace
The world of sports entertainment lost a pioneer today, when “The Macho Man” Randy Savage's car was violently whipped into a tree like turnbuckle. He was 58. EMT's on site believed that a “medical incident” had occurred shortly before the crash. This was later confirmed at the hospital when doctors found an entire Slim Jim wedged in his esophagus.
“I'm completely devastated” Tweeted a sorrowful Hulk Hogan, “I feel like an elbow has been driven into my chest from the top rope.”
Born Randall Mario Poffo on November 15, 1952, Randy was destined for greatness from the start. Mamma Poffo was in St. Mary's Medical Center in Columbus, Ohio while she was in labor with Randall for an astonishing 13 days. Finally, on that 13th day, Momma Poffo screamed “Are you ever going to come the fuck out of there?!” Randall's reply? Ripping open his mothers vaginal lips, shoving his little head through to the unsuspecting world and screaming “Ohhhh Yeahhhhh!” for all to hear. This was just the beginning for Mr. Macho Man.
While in grade school, Randy's teachers had to make special cast iron pencils for him to use, as a result of him snapping every pencil they handed him into little, tiny pieces.
In high school, The Macho Man was on the swimming team, but was kicked off because of his improper diving techniques, which later developed into his patented elbow drop.
Having a father who was also a professional wrestler put Randy on the fast track into the business. He started in Georgia Championship Wrestling under the alias “The Spider Friend.” I can't imagine what made him drop that name. But Macho's talent was far too great to be held in the incestuous state of Georgia, and the WWF came calling just 11 short years into his career.
With Mrs. Elizabeth both at his side and on his wang, The Macho Man Randy Savage became a household name. He rose the world of sports entertainment to new heights with every climb up a ladder, every dive off a steel cage, and every electrifying interview he gave.
The Macho Man Randy Savage was a childhood hero of mine, as I know he was for many of my Delco brethren as well. There never was, nor will there ever be anybody quite like the great Randy Savage. You will be missed Randall. Ohhhh Yeahhhh!!
Dr. Funkenstein
“I'm completely devastated” Tweeted a sorrowful Hulk Hogan, “I feel like an elbow has been driven into my chest from the top rope.”
Born Randall Mario Poffo on November 15, 1952, Randy was destined for greatness from the start. Mamma Poffo was in St. Mary's Medical Center in Columbus, Ohio while she was in labor with Randall for an astonishing 13 days. Finally, on that 13th day, Momma Poffo screamed “Are you ever going to come the fuck out of there?!” Randall's reply? Ripping open his mothers vaginal lips, shoving his little head through to the unsuspecting world and screaming “Ohhhh Yeahhhhh!” for all to hear. This was just the beginning for Mr. Macho Man.
While in grade school, Randy's teachers had to make special cast iron pencils for him to use, as a result of him snapping every pencil they handed him into little, tiny pieces.
In high school, The Macho Man was on the swimming team, but was kicked off because of his improper diving techniques, which later developed into his patented elbow drop.
Having a father who was also a professional wrestler put Randy on the fast track into the business. He started in Georgia Championship Wrestling under the alias “The Spider Friend.” I can't imagine what made him drop that name. But Macho's talent was far too great to be held in the incestuous state of Georgia, and the WWF came calling just 11 short years into his career.
With Mrs. Elizabeth both at his side and on his wang, The Macho Man Randy Savage became a household name. He rose the world of sports entertainment to new heights with every climb up a ladder, every dive off a steel cage, and every electrifying interview he gave.
The Macho Man Randy Savage was a childhood hero of mine, as I know he was for many of my Delco brethren as well. There never was, nor will there ever be anybody quite like the great Randy Savage. You will be missed Randall. Ohhhh Yeahhhh!!
Dr. Funkenstein